The thought that has consumed me
for the last two days is this: what the hell am I going to write in that
damn blog? Should I write about things that have happened in my life? Present
happenings? That would be a blog filled with nonsensical ramblings related to
patients, children, and reading. Classes start next week so I'm sure I'll have
plenty of opportunities to make fun of my new students. Past happenings? I got
nothing. Should I write about things that other people want to read? What do
other people want to read about, anyway?
I asked Bobby about this... he was as
much help as you would imagine. He sits around the house working and learning
about all kinds of current events that happen in other countries from TV and
podcasts. He's right when he says that if he gives me things to talk about, I
won't know diddly about them. Mostly, I feel that I get enough real life
current events leaving the house every day. I don't need to hear about the hell
other people suffer from broadcast news. My blog is more Avoidance Art, anyway.
I read one blog on Sparkpeople.com
that got him and me talking... I'll spare the details here, given that I
don't think anyone will be reading this anyway... the end result is that we
have been thinking of things that people (read: men) should wait until AFTER
they have slept with a woman to tell her. Of course, people (read: women) will
think they are things to know PRIOR to the big reveal. Bobby and I keep
thinking of things that should go on the list. Here it is so far:
1. I usually prefer thinner women but
don't really feel comfortable approaching them. (This was actually the thing
posted in the blog I read.)
2. You're sister really is the hot one.
3. Hmmm, maybe I'm actually gay.
4. Episode One was a work of genius.
5. You'd be more attractive if
you... [lost weight, fixed your nose].
6. My ex-boyfriend is a little psycho...
just don't look over there.
7. I'm a Republican. (or a Tory if
you listen to a bunch of British crap like Bobby does)
8. I guess it wasn't the pants that made
you look fat.
9. My pet roaches are very nice if
you just leave them alone. Wanna meet them?
10. I don't read. I'm not a fan of words.
11. I was lying about
being... [rich, a lawyer, a movie producer]. But I AM a stockroom manager
at... [Blockbuster, McDonalds, any pizza chain].
12. I'm still waiting for the test
results to come back.
13. That's the blood bed. We can't have
sex on that. (actual lines from a Kevin Smith podcast)
14. I make comics for a living.
15. I find Sesame Street to be a bit
challenging, intellectually.
Bobby actually came up with the majority
of these pretty quickly... I wonder what he's not telling me!?
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